Taking the initiative
It is winter. I now live in a village of 425 inhabitants , 37 inhabitants per km2, where I don’t know anyone. Where do I start to build my new network?
On a walk, we greeted our neighbour ‘next door’ (500 metres away). Turns out he is Belgian, married to a French woman. OK, so 33% of our hamlet (9 inhabitants) is not French! Quite international hamlet!
At the mayor’s New Year’s speech in January, we would get to know many people, was our estimation. But we were a bit lost in the hall, which was cold in itself with all the concrete and fluorescent tubes. So we decided to approach an older and a young woman to have a chat: there is no such thing as coincidence. The older woman knew our house well and went to school in Le Charaix till the age of 12. The young woman, her granddaughter-in-law, is called De Jager, as her father was Dutch. Well now, those Dutch really are everywhere!
Townhall (la Mairie)
A few days later, I went to the town hall, which residents can visit every Tuesday and Friday afternoon. Let’s see what publications are hanging on the boards, what activities or tips can be found here. After all, this municipality does not have a proper website.
I saw that there was a primary school fundraising campaign: I’m happy to participate. But apart from that, there was no offer or overview for new citizens. The Secretary told me another lady in the village was also looking for connection, but did not find it. We would get along, was her first impression.
And hoppa, so I went straight from la Mairie to that lady, within walking distance. I rang the bell and was warmly welcomed.
Getting to know your neighbours
In a hamlet with five houses and a small church, you better know your neighbour, in my opinion. In early February, all neighbours had received our invitation in their letterbox to come and get acquainted around a bite to eat and a drink. A French apéritif at 6pm on a Friday evening seemed preferable than a Dutch cup of coffee at 3.30pm. In the end, only one young couple came to us and there was so much to discuss that they did not leave until 10.30pm. I hadn’t anticipated this and the drinks nuts ran out. From then on, we invite for aperitifs and serve plenty of solid food with them. Also nice for ourselves, of course!
Outside
It all gets easier when it’s spring and summer. Even while mowing the grass (read this blog) you can also get to know neighbours. Or when a cow suddenly walks into our meadow, it’s an opportunity to make a first contact with the farmer. During a walk in Le Charaix with our grandson we met a dog and its owner, to whom we were also invited the next day for a closer acquaintance: he Dutch and she French! And later on a few annual events at the little church in Le Charaix. There we met and talked to a number of people for the first time: for example, Birgit, a German who speaks fluent French as she has lived here for some 40 years. Other outdoor encounters brought me closer and closer to like-minded people. At the market, for instance, I spoke to a lady with products to purify and vitalize water. Thanks to her, I learnt “Qi-Gong de la Marche” in the village of Andancette, 28 km from here. And since 2 weeks now, I have started a group of my own in my village, with the aim of connecting people and keeping moving outdoors through winter.
Inside
Meanwhile, in autumn, I invited a number of women to get to know each other: this time over coffee and in a game format. In November I went to a Zen fair around here, where I met many lovely people. I am also informed about all kinds of activities here in the area through a digital newsletter, which was recommended to me. Soon we will meet a Dutch couple who keep a campsite nearby and a very nice gite .
And so our new network is renewing rather quickly after all: in progress.
Now that winter is setting in, we are also turning into ourselves. That’s what winter is for.
But there is no room for the feeling of loneliness now.